When it comes to Valentine's day, men get a bad rap. 

Hey buddy, it's simple. Here's what most women want: The perfect sentiment wrapped in the right degrees of emotion felt in the exact depth along with the perfect gift buried in a few dozen red roses. Chocolates and wine can be bought out at a dressy dinner affair where you shall never once take your eyes away from hers. That's all. Also, you need to outdo every man dating any of her co-workers, girlfriends esp the ones she hates. Really, that's all. Did I mention a handmade card?

The rest of us continue to want to fit in their old clothes because those are damn good outfits; want to eat like pigs and come out ladylike - thin ladylike; want peace and quiet for 24 hours without any questons, suggestions or advice; want great food that we did not cook; want diamonds and some shades of explosive color not just greys. 
True Story!
Yes, about time that someone called Cupid a PIG! Thank you Hallmark!

Valentine's is what I make of it. When I graduated from being an young adult to 'single' (yes, until one day I was young and carefree and suddenly next day on, I am single,  bitter, surely-must-be-lonely), I hated Valentine's day. I can make up reasons for why I hated it and it will have the perfect liberal, girl power ring to it but the truth will bubble up and that is - I didn't have a guy to make much ado about me. Every other day, I was fine but come Valentine's day, I unraveled - the giddy rush that women with a significant other had, the oh-I-don't-care-but-he-adores-me smirks of the others, the pitiful looks by everyone, the suspicious glances of conservative Indian parents, the remarks of co-workers, the bubbling love commercials induced insecurities and the ones that say 'Oh, don't worry, you won't die alone.' 

Then I got married. And nothing changed. 

Valentine's is what you want it to be. It can be all wine & red roses or it can be wine & quiet. It can be the dinner-date night or getting identical heart tattoos on your a$$. Or it can mean doing something together that faces your fears thereby tying you guys together forever like skydiving or bungee jumping. I mean after you sh!t your pants, you pretty much don't want anyone else to know. Some folks give their time to folks who have nothing. Let's take Valentine's back from the shallow, consumerism oriented day that everyone is making it out to be. 

This is what Valentine's means to me. 
Yes, this large Nestle creamer is why. This is how I like my coffee (yes, I like badly made coffee). BK on the other hand drinks only gourmet coffee. (two words for you BK - Kattan Kappi) And if he doesn't like something, he will dissuade you from using it. He means well; he wants you to have the best. So when my creamer ran out, I asked him (half expecting him to zone out) to pick one up for me. I didn't expect that to happen. So when I went to get coffee the next crabby morning, I didn't find a creamer in its usual place. Giving up, I walked away to find this big guy grinning right next to my coffee maker! *melt
He remembered! And overrode his natural instinct to press better, organic stuff on me and got me a big bottle. Happy Valentine's Day to me 
I was away on work last month. I came home late on that cold cold evening to relieve BK from watching the girls for a long while. I was pretty sure he was pulled in all directions and had gone deaf or insane, if not both. I set out to catch up on all the chores waiting for me. But I found that BK took some time out to wash every bottle that lil A used that day. *melt* He said that he knew how cold and tired I would be. (Bet you thought me pretty stupid for standing there taking pics of the dishes, huh babe?) Happy Valentine's Day to me
I think children's love is the purest there ever is. I know a Mother's love runs deep but somewhere, somehow expectations creep into it and tarnish it a little. But an innocent child's love - it's blemish-less. 
After days of letting his facial hair get out of control*, BK finally cleaned his face up. Happy Valentine's Day to me. When he came out looking all dapper and sharp, Lil O sees him and says, 'Oh Dada, you looking so cute'. BK was completely taken aback. 
He asked her, 'What? What did you say baby?'
Lil O: 'Dada, so cute'. She comes running to him. Grabs his face and smothers him with sloppy, adorable kisses as BK's eyes welled. 
BK: 'This is the first compliment my daughter ever gave me'.
Happy Valentine's Day to us

*So this is why he was letting his beard grow. 
Hangover Version Lil O (2010)
Hangover (Image: Wiki)
Hangover Version Lil A (2012)

When two lil babies share a sweet moment and laugh to their heart's content, now that's Happy Valentine's all around!

BK sends me flowers every Valentine's Day - usually to work. So much so that now everyone knows. It's a beautiful gesture and he knows that I hate flowers. He says that he likes how I take care of those flowers because it's from him. I say 'please send me diamonds instead'. I don't hate this day but I hate how some people are under pressure to outgift, outsurprise, outplease each other. I hate how suddenly these simple gestures of love all year round are in the hot-seat being validated by that one gift or biggest bunch of roses. 

I do not need a day to celebrate anything - my kids are the ultimate celebration of the love BK and I share. 

Even then I will take that day, to do something cheesy, something tender, to do something funny... for laughs. 

To make something of it. 

To make something else of it. 

P.S: BK, I still want a gift. 
02/05/2013 11:41pm

I just loved reading it. It was as if reading a piece of my own mind.
Keep writing coz I live reading it. :)

02/06/2013 8:22pm

Yay! Thank you!

02/06/2013 12:37am

Very true all around gins! being single for most of my life, I have had some amazing valentines with fellow single women and we moped about being single, we celebrated being single and we assured each other that no matter what we will never be alone... as much as I dont need the whole nine yards of V-day celeb, I always hope for "The perfect sentiment wrapped in the right degrees of emotion felt in the exact depth along with the perfect gift buried in a few dozen red roses" :) PS: I loved BK's special moment with Lil O

02/06/2013 8:23pm

Yes, till date some of the best Valentine's have been with my friends. No offense to you BK but you can't bitch like we can! Cheers to girlfriends everywhere!

02/06/2013 9:58am

Is that your husband?? He's one good looking man!!!!

<a href="http://www.ramblingsofasuburbanmom.com/">Ramblings of a Suburban Mom</a>

02/06/2013 8:24pm

Yes, the one and only! Thank you.
He says that he is not blushing.

02/08/2013 12:10am

That was an awesome read Ginz. V2 - mind blowing, love the picture.

02/08/2013 8:46am

What is V2?

02/21/2013 2:36pm

Wow! Just the words I would use to describe Vday - just in a "MUCH" better way, ten million fold...

My husband's not big on 'days', PDAs, he still doesnt remember when's our anniversary exactly, but he's a great father - the sacrificing parent among the 2 of us, he's a fabulous son-in-law, the kind that makes my parents' bed when they are visiting and serves food for my mom and listens to my dad, a doting brother in law, who will indulge in whatever my brother suggests saying, "I didnt have the heart to refuse him, he's a small boy", a great friend who will discuss my secret crushes and chides my silly mistakes and most important of all, a person who I will never ever lose respect for. Sorry that came as a snowballed sentence. I have always whined that he hates 'special days', but I now know I have nothing to complain about, when his love itself is so special, for me and mine.

Thro this post, I say thanks to my husband, who showed me what loving, caring and sharing is all about (Sorry Sush, its not always a woman).

Thank You Jen for this incredible post!

02/21/2013 3:27pm

*sniff sniff* Your man sounds perfect!

Kudos to the woman who raised him, to the woman who is cherishing him and to the little lady who sees her hero in him!

Wishing you that real love for all times.

02/21/2013 11:08pm

Oops Jen - the first 2 lines came out all wrong - I just posted this w/o reading back once...

Wanted to say...."Wow! Just the words I would use to describe Vday - but YOU DID it in a "MUCH" better way, ten million fold..." Your post brought tears to my eyes and made me count my blessings! Keep writing, its a gift!

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