I have been chatting up a storm in the last week. 

The use of those friendly smileys are overwhelming. 
When you have nothing to say - insert!
When you said something that is actually true but you don't want to hurt - insert!
When it is not funny but you have to laugh - insert!
When you haven't understood what was said - insert!
When it is so funny that you can't stop laughing - insert wrong, then insert right!
When it is getting boring - insert!
When you do not want to answer a question - insert!

Such useful little guys! 

But imagine us using those faces in real life. The world would be creepy and funny too. 

Imagine us working these faces into daily conversations!

Share this with your friends and get them to add more to the Real Life Emoticons

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There was a time when I wasn't lost to my parents. I was this goody-two-feet who did her homework, studied hard and generally told the truth always. And then that girl met this one - Geet. 

Geet was a good girl too but with more flair. But together - OMG. 

I can't begin to describe the craziness that was unleashed in my head and through it all both of us grew up. 

Before I summarize everything that we were, I want to say on record that I learned Hindi mostly because of her... and I don't want to tell you about the first lessons - that's all censored but every other lesson were bindaas!

and 10 pages in between!
Always posing..
After a year of being in the same class with Geet, here is my PTA meeting conversation with our head teacher:

Mrs G: 'Mr George, 10th A is an infamous class today'.
Dad: 'Ahhh very good.'
Me: 'Dad, infamous is opposite of famous'.
Dad: 'Oh'
Mrs G: 'And your daughter is one of the most notorious girls causing this.'
Dad: 'What are you a criminal'? to me. 
Mrs G: 'The company she keeps is terrible influence on her.' She rolls her eyes to Geet who is sitting shame faced with her mom and another teacher who is saying the same things. 

Later while leaving,  Dad says to me, 'You are to be katti with that girl forever. Ok?'
Me: 'No'.
Dad: 'What? What did you say? Then why don't you go home with her. You can't listen to your parents then go... hey, where are you going? Come back here. So if I tell you to go to her home, you will just go? Get in the car stupid.'! 

(more or less what happened)

One night, I was almost asleep and reasonably so because it was 2:30AM! My phone rings and I ran to pick it up. (Geet, Yasu and several of us talk that late into school nights because most of us were blacklisted to our parents).

Me: 'Hello'
Geet's Dad: 'Were you talking to Guddi, right now'?
Me *without missing a beat*: 'Yes'.
Geet's Dad: 'You have no other work? Can't you go to sleep? Is this the time to talk?'
Me: 'Ehhhh....'
Geet's Dad: 'Goodnight'
Me: 'Goodnight'.

(P.S: Geet, stop teaching your dad the internets!)

That's how thick we were. We had each other's backs, we covered each other's a$$es and were simply awesome. She is a genuine and true soul who brings fun to every party and turns every shingding into a party!

Sigh! Good Old days. School memories would never have been this sweet without a dose of Geet. And thanks babe for that great dose of F.R.I.E.N.D.S of ISK. Those b!atches over there are bat-sh!t NUTS.

Deadly Scorpions baby!

No, not this one. 

This one.
Now this dates back to right before I proposed to BK

When I had decided that's what I wanted to do, I needed the right ring without busting my mattress open for my savings. And this was a spur of the moment plan with no years of planning or saving up. So where does a girl go to pick out a ring? 

I got Mummu Tee along. 
Me. (Check out that doll holding a doll!)
So promising myself that I wouldn't go over my budget and wouldn't buy anything for myself, we set out to the Diamond Hut Jewelry. After looking high and low for the ring , I settled for one that was a good runner up. I was getting the coldest feet ever. Mummu Tee decided to buy something at the Jewelry as well. So I took a break from ring hunting and decided to walk around the mall. (Seriously, Men have the easiest job of picking out a ring - pick the biggest, DONE!)

My 'walk' led me straight to another Jewelry Showroom. The jeweler over there - Mike (looks exactly like Jason Statham) was on 'salesman-steroids' that evening. I ended up telling him what I wanted, why I wanted it and when. He went for the kill (and overkill with his flattery and wishing there was a girl who would propose to him) and ended up showing me the perfect ring. The perfect ring which had BK written all over it. The problem was, it was way over my budget. And Mike just wouldn't stop with his sweet talking. 
Image: http://www.glasbergen.com/sales-cartoons/?nggpage=4
Meanwhile Tee kept calling me to close the deal at Diamond Hut. So I resisted Mike's charms and left. I ended up buying the first reasonable and affordable ring that I had picked out. 

Walking out, poorer and not very thrilled I told Tee that I found the ring but I can't buy it. I told her I will show it to her provided she promises not to like it, not to comment on it and not let me buy it. She promised. 

So we went over to the second Jewelry Showroom. Mike greets us like a vulture circling his walking dead carcass (but nicer). With great flourish, he displays the ring. Tee stands still for a second and then bursts out gushing and then in a whisper says, 'This is BK's ring'. We had a 'my precious...my precious' moment right there. 
Great! Try getting out of that one. My wing-woman turned. And Mike is doing a victory dance!
Image: Google
Turns out, for me it was this Ring experience after all
Elaine Benes' awesome dance! Image: Google images
So there I was standing with one diamond ring in my bag and another beckoning to me with it's gleaming eyes locked on mine and in between a hippity hoppity-ing Jeweler and Tee going Gollum on me.
I have no recollection of what happened after that. About 20 mins later, I was the proud and poor owner of 2 diamond rings for men. Atleast my wing-woman was thrilled to bits. 
And ofcourse BK loves his ring. He saw the other one and meh-ed it immediately. 

Moral of the story: Girls should never shop for diamonds with other girls. NEVER. But every girl should have a friend like Tee
Yes, precious!
You know how they say 'You should have someone in your present who has seen you grow up'. 

Lidz is one of them. Boy, am I still growing up  under her watchful eyes (Lidz, stop shaking your head). 

Such a terrible pic of us from over 10 years ago!
I know she is a true friend because she would never stab me in the back. She would just stab me in the face. SRK, enough said. (I am kidding. I have BK now)

There was a pod and two peas fell on earth just days apart and those two were us. Eventually we grew up and became glow-worms! 

I don't think there ever was a time when the two of us were NOT up to no good. EVER. If we even sat down together, we would be upto something. 

She is another incredible cook that I know, whose recipes BK loves to borrow. She is fun, funny and awesome. 

Lidz, I can’t imagine not having you a phone call away…even though I never call. I forgive you for letting me lose your watch and thank you for coming with me for Bone Collection. 

Writing this, I realize that I have such awesome friends. I wish we all lived in one big Neon-lit community. 
A true gem. 
I chased my heart to New York years ago. I found it and I also found something precious. Mummu Tee. 

Sigh! If there is one thing I truly miss about being single, it was the time I lived with Mummu Tee. We lived like a couple of weirdos. Truly.
Now Tee here thinks she is gangsta’. She can give you the mean looks and rant and rave. But when she opens her mouth, 


Don’t get me wrong… hmm, yeah, get me wrong. She has the softest heart and the most forgiving nature I have ever seen. There are times when I felt I needed to take a baseball bat to some people’s knee for giving her a hard time. 

If I tell a joke, she will ‘over’ it in a flash of the minute. *rolling eyes*

Hadn’t it been for BK and Mummu Tee, I would have hated my new life here in US of A. 

Her cooking is just as amazing as her. Some of the dishes she puts together, I thought can never be made. For that matter, I think nothing should ever be made – just ordered. 

To this day I wonder what she would have done had it not been me that night at Journal Square. Absolutely nothing. I am sure she is saying ‘Karate chop the a$$ down’. Yeah sure, I believe you. By the way, I know you do not read my posts because I dropped a feeler earlier and you never bit. 

Oh Tee, I am glad I see some remote signs of our daughters being BFFs. They have to, what else will they do for years on out, when we are sipping wine and chattering away. Years ago around this time of the year (Valentines), you let the turtle have some beer. I hear there is still a homeless bum drunken turtle chasing girls at Central Park. 

I can't tell you enough how awesome you are. I totally heart you. 

PS: I am so thrilled to have a place to go now after I say the last word in an argument with BK. Shout out to my 'bestest frienD'.

PPS: I still need the pictured baby!
Another day, another friend. 

Just so everyone knows - these posts are not based on any order. My love is flawed but pretty much weighs the same. 

Oh Yasu! How shall I go about talking of you? So much to say, so little space in the internets.
I think the year was 1996.
Yasu and I fell to be best friends when I returned to school after the Middle East invasion in 1990. My first impression was that she was way too pretty to be my friend. But friends and closer we did become in a short while. We are one of those people who are worlds apart yet think similar thoughts and always agree to disagree. 

She was the first one who ever told me I was fat. 

We were in 8th grade. 

And heed how delicately she told me. She squeezes my arm like you would with an avocado and tells me, ‘You have put on some but in a very good way. You are not fat. You are in between healthy and plump. Which is exactly the place to be. Look at my arm, it’s way too skinny. Don’t worry. You are not fat.’. 

Hun, even then I knew there is nothing in between healthy and plump. 

Thta's us being stupid!
Such a playful heart, a deep spiritual soul and a sharp intelligent ticking mind. She won’t study while I slave away burning many a midnight lamps studying my a$$ off and she walks away with awesome grades and I still have that big a$$. How does she do it? I personally think she is out of this world – in more ways than one. 
It was all her idea to run down the hallway of Carmel School yelling on top of our lungs the choicest curses ever uttered when we were done with our finals! 
I am sure she will say otherwise but trust me, it’s true. It’s on the internet afterall. 

She is effortlessly beautiful and her heart is always open. I couldn’t have grown up without you Yasu. That’s for sure. 

I love you and still hold on to the promise that we will make our reunion happen. 

Oh, she would care less for this post. For her my adulation is an entitlement. 
Because that’s how we roll! And yes, we are knifing crazies at my nook of the world. 

I have been blessed beyond words with friends for every meandering walk and season of life. And I think we do not appreciate them often or enough and often enough! 

So like true friends do, I want to let them all know how much I appreciate them. I will do so by embarrassing them. 

This series of posts is going to be full of inside jokes and references that will not make any sense to anyone but that friend I am talking about. 

My first friend ever is Min. I have a sneaky feeling that she taught me how to be a friend. 
She is terrific. She loves Dora ‘Bore’berts (I can see the fire in your eyes from here!) and Ferrero Rocher more than she loves me. And when I die, she won’t cry for me. I am fine with that because I have to be; she knows all of my deepest and coldest secrets. If she talks, then I have to call one of you to move a dead body. I don’t think I would have been able to go through life without her. And it breaks me bit by bit to be living so far from her. 

She is my most sanest friend ever and when she takes a break and goes insane - she can totally bring it!
Under 4 years of age and thick as thieves.
I remember just before both of us packed our bags to move countries and go to college, in one of our midnight conversations, Min said, 'You know, we probably would not have even been friends had we not been related'. 
My mom being Godmother to lil Min

At that time, I kept thinking about it and I couldn't come up with something that says that's not true. Years later when I met BK and was moving countries again, I realized that it was never true. God had a plan when he wrote out those crazy (read CRAZY!) situations in my life - and his plan included Min getting me through it all. I am hoping I made a small ripple in her life too. He would have tossed Min into my friend's bucket had he not placed her in my family tree. This much I know. 

Mins, as life unwinds further for us, kids and all, I just hope I can be to you as much as you have meant and been to me. 

I love you.
10th grade - out of braces, into notions of high-fashion and thicker than thieves
PS: seriously dude, you need to cry at my graveside. All my friends will be like 'Look, Min is not crying, she is binging on Ferrero Rocher, so let's not cry either' (I can so hear Mummu Tee say this). And before you know it - it's one big party and I am rotting underground.