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The delights of Potty Training. It is a delight, right?

I started potty training lil O, a few months after she turned two. She understood the concept immediately and loved the potty - not the one I got her but the porcelain one. 

The things I learnt potty training a willful little girl...

  1. Show and Tell - they understand best when they see it and you know how these kids are, they love imitating you. No amount of explained helped O. Show her once and she is all for being just like mommy. 
  2. Take it slow. When little O saw that I wanted her to pick this skill up immediately, she simply refused. She wanted to pee in the other bathroom, she wanted the door shut, she wanted the whole paper roll... so I let her be or pee. 
  3. Stock up on roll of toilet paper. Oh boy, do they love those. One time, she almost had the whole roll wrapped around her hand! 
  4. Stock up on disinfectant and wipes, there's poop everywhere. I went cold turkey with her and put her in underwear right away. She peed everywhere and pooped everywhere too. It kind of worked because she didn't like the icky feeling of it running down her legs or pooling at her feet. (sorry for grossing you out - I had to clean all that up, so take a deep breath). She didn't like it began to want to use the bathroom when she needed to go. Win!
  5. Bite your tongue. There are times when they will go without an incident and then there are times when accidents happen, sometimes willfully. When O is busy playing, she will not pause to go use the potty, wipe, flush, wash her hands, dry them and return. To her, that's a lot of work. I try not to scold her for the mess. Sigh! What I make sure is that she has it easy - easy to remove clothes, reachable soap, step stool to reach the wash basin, toilet seat down.
  6. They forget. Keep reminding them that they need to use the bathroom. They forget, that's all. When I ask her sometimes, 'Do you want to pee'?, she will stand there as I ask and pee for me. Argh!
  7. Stayed tuned for the drama. You know what these kids will do? They will watch themselves pee, poop, what to touch the poop, want to watch the poop and not flush, will wipe and want to save the toilet paper, what to put their hands in the toilet, stick their head in the toilet... you name it, they will do it. Try to resist yelling at them for it. They haven't been to the bathroom much before so let them be. Take pictures of them do these stomach churning things and we'll show them when they are 16! 
  8. It's really not a big deal. People say that you should reward successful potty moments. But what I do is, not make it such a big deal. I do say, 'Good Job and Great Going' but I do not go all out and dole out stickers or hugs or treats. Because these little people understand that if this is what happens when you are good, then something bad may happen when you are bad. They feel worse when an accident happens. Atleast O is sensitive that way. So I just remind her to use the potty when an accident happens (yes, sometimes I end up scolding her because accidents happen at the most inopportune moments!) and give her 'Hi-Fi' for a success. That's it, no big deal.
  9. Stay out of it. When your little one wants to go to the bathroom, let them and you stay out. Treat them like little people. Let them go and get out of their clothing(s), put up or down the toilet seat and climb on, go, flush, wash etc. Don't go over to enhance or critique their performance, assess how they did or give them step by step instructions. You already showed them how, now step back, let them take care of their business. When I treated her like a grown up, she was better than when I take her to the bathroom. 
  10. Drink some wine. Your child is fine and you are doing fine. They will get their sh!t together. (Did you see what I just did here?!). 
Do share your funny potty train crash stories. I would love to hear. 

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Being a mom is hard. 

Being a working mom with two kids, 2 and under is really hard. 

Being a working mom with two kids, 2 and under and a blog to maintain... well, that's easy. 

Because the blog suffers. And no one gets hurt. 

And that's why I am not on here as often as I would like to be. 

I revisited my goals for this blog and I take comfort in the fact that I am being heard. By a precious few... but heard never the less. 

I am in a comfortable place right now... so comfortable that I am getting a tad bit rusty. So I need to wake up and come here to dust once in a while. I will do that. 

I look around me at mommies and women around me and I remain humbly inspired. They do so much and are so talented and very selfless. They always want to do more. 

Take a break. That's what I want to tell them. Take a break... let me catch up. 

There are some weekends where I can't wait for it to be Monday, so that I can pack my two and drive them to the daycare and come home to savor the quiet. Or go to work and not think about that night's dinner or grocery list or piling laundry until it is looming large above my head. 

There are some days when all I want to do is watch my kids play and make a mess. Learn all their little songs with them and dance like a ballerina wearing spider-man tattoos. 

There are days when I slog in the kitchen to make something... anything that my kids won't spit out or paint the walls with. Then there are days when I simply quick-dial my dinner. 

There has been days when I actually fished in the laundry pile for a pair of something for me to wear or for one of the kids to wear because.... c'mon how dirty... really dirty can clothes get, huh? 

There are days when my need-to-be-handwashed dishes just sit there dirty and sprouting mold or whatever little stuff on them. 

There are times when I have no clue what the true color of our area rug really was... underneath all those toys, trash and dust. 

There are days when I rush off to work or rush back from work. Then there are those awful days when I bring work home or carry my home to work. There are days I am late to work or late from work. Then there are days when either my mind never came home with me or left with me to work. Sigh!
So I strike a balance. I let somethings go. 

It's ok if BK and my kids eat couple of quick meals or dines out - either they appreciate my cooking or it's a lucky break for them. 

It's ok if I mask left overs and re-present them differently 3 days in a row, that's mommy being her creative self and experimenting on you. 

It's ok if my laundry is undone and we are running out of clothes to wear, it just means new and more clothes for all of us. 

It's ok if my house looks like a war is going on, it just shows how much fun we had making this mess. 

It's ok if my pantry is empty and we are running out of toilet paper... wait, that's never ok. 
What I am saying is, women across the world always do a lot, and they don't even have to be moms or wives. I feel they are always doing too much or trying to get everything done, every day. I am saying - it's ok. Our kids love us or hate us anyways, no matter what we serve them, no matter how we dress them, no matter how we smell. Our men, they are awesome too. They are not standing aside with that measuring yardstick trying to count our falls or chores undone. They rather see us happy and calm than frowning and exhausted. 

So I am embracing this imbalance. I am embracing a dirty house but loving home. I am embracing our local Chinese food but loving teaching the kids how to use chop sticks. I am embracing shopping in yesterday's laundry and wearing new ones out of the store. I am embracing my half there-half here imperfect, smelly self... ugh, let me go wash my hair. 

And that is indeed why I am slacking on indigoandviolet. I love that part of who I am but I am letting it gather some dust. 

Cheers to all the people who do too much! 
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