2. Don’t worry too much about leaving the toilet seat down. There is too much noise about this. We women can put it down before we go. And if you did, thank you.
3. When you are at a door and have opened it, it is heartwarming to see you let the person behind you out first and then walk through it yourself. This is good only for doors. Opportunities are a different thing.
4. Be polite, you never know who is watching you and why.
5. Your mother threw all caution away and fell in love with your father. She is always cautious with the doors to her heart. You were the next man, when you stomped through and stole her heart. Do not break it.
6. I will let you in on a secret. Most women bring in a little drama with them. Indulge us and we will leave you alone.
7. Don’t break a girl’s heart cruelly. Do it honestly, gently but firmly. Only cowards are brutal.
8. Never ever, ever ruin a girl’s reputation. The karma around that is too much burden for you to bear.
9. Revenge is overrated. Have you seen someone overtake you with a snide look only to slip and fall? I have and it’s such pure ecstasy and I couldn’t have done it better.
10. If you see women only as a pair of assets, they will see you as an open wallet or worse as a service bull. And just so that you know, we compare all services.
12. We can open our own jars, change our tires and reach for top shelves. We are letting you do it to show you that we appreciate your strength, your effort and we love that you are there for us to depend on.
13. Pull your pants up kid. It is not cool any which way you look at it.
14. Piercings and tattoos are neat only for a while. When your skin is saggy and wrinkly or stretched out over your beer belly, everything will read ‘I am stupid’. Unless it reads your children’s names.
15. Learn a sport that you play while sitting; learn a sport that you play running; learn a sport that you play with your mind; learn a sport that you play with your strength of body and will. You need all these to get you through life.
16. It rocks if you can make music. Kids love a guy with a guitar or harmonica.
17. We all love Cows, those gentle, all giving animals. You know the one thing we do not like about them? Their incessant chewing cud. If we don’t like it on them, you bet we don’t like it on you.
18. You know that saying – Why fart and waste when you can burp and taste? Yeah, don’t do either.
19. Farts do not light up but yes, do try it.
20. Make sure you own a shiny pair of shoes. It matters.
21. It takes very little to be a man; actually it just takes that one thing. Don’t be that thing. And don’t scratch that thing in public.
22. It takes very little to be a gentleman. Please be one. You will make your mom proud.
24. Learn to make a few meals, do your own laundry and vacuum. You will need it someday to impress a girl or to be there for your wife while she is having your baby.
25. By the time you are 16, you will think you know a lot about women. Nope, not even close. You will see that each girl that you know is going to change into a lady and a woman when her wings unfurl after graduation.
26. Lock the door to your room. American Pie is funny when the kid is not yours.
27. Take NO for an answer.
28. I know a lot of people say it often. It is all right to cry. Only if you feel like it, you don’t have to, no matter which woman says it.
29. Be able to hold your drink. Start practicing when you turn 21 and keep at it till you are 23. But give it up after that and just enjoy your drinks.
30. Don’t be influenced by anyone or anything – your friends, your mother, your wine or your ego. Make your own mind and heart up.
31. Enjoy an art, a little history, reading and something nerdy. It makes you cooler as you get older.
32. Anything a girl can do, you can do too and maybe even better. Except give birth, not because you can’t bear that much pain just that you would look weird in those maternity clothes.
33. Take a boy’s night out every once in a while. Even if your mom or woman gives you hell for it. It is worth it.
34. Take care of your appearance a little. You have all that body hair and facial hair working against you, to start with.
35. Please be funny. A funny guy can get away being geeky, nerdy, skinny or hairy. Be very funny if you are all of these.
36. Pray and no, you are not the gift to every woman’s dream.
37. Exercise. It's liberating.
38. Never ever hit a person who is weaker than you. And never ever hit a woman, even if she is stronger than you.
39. Be trustworthy and know that gossiping men are very nasty.
40. Please pick up the check when you are out with a lady.
41. Leave my daughters alone. Have you met their father?