1. YES! Sure. I will.
2. Ok, if you say so. (So parents would be let off from having to say Because I said so!)
3. I will go to sleep now. No, don't bother carrying me up to bed. I get around to the most unsafest places by myself, so I can get to my safe bed in my safe room by myself.
4. Thank You! Please.
5. Yes, this is yummy. I love the color on this - green. It's beautiful. I will eat it all without shoving it around my plate or behind the couch or under the table.
6. I love you always even when you have goofed up, forgotten my lunch, forgotten the poop in my diaper, for frozen or leftover dinners and for drinking.
7. Oh... you look tired. I shall stop this clanking, banging, yelling, singing, clapping right now and wait till you feel better.
8. Sure, I shall lie down and be very still while you change me and will not attempt to stick my hand in my diaper or worse stick it in my mouth after.
9. Sorry mom for biting you there. Won't happen again. While I am at it, I will also stop pulling your hair or scratching you.
10. Mom, can you clip my nails please? I just want to make sure that I don't scratch you or worse scratch myself pretty bad and then make other pretentious mothers judge you as a bad mother.
11. Mom and Dad, I promise not to grasp any of the foul words that you frequently toss about.
12. I promise not to learn to spell until I turn 5 and when I do, I will catch up fast and turn out to be a Spelling Bee Champion. So carry on talking about T-I-M-E-O-U-T and H-I-D-D-E-N-C-A-N-D-Y.
13. I will not repeat anything you say about my daycare buddies and their mommies anywhere.
15. I do not want another toy, thank you.
16. Please don't save for my college tuition or wedding or any such thing. Please use everything you earn to have vacations with us, drink and have fun. I will become a singing protege and rise to fame and buy you a house soon.
17. I can get my own dinner. Do you want anything from the fridge?
18. Did you have a rough day at work? Why don't you put your feet up? I will not poop or pee myself or spill anything until you are ready to get off your bum.
19. I promise to say hello, say my name, sing your favorite song, talk sweet when all your friends are over and on demand. I will not embarrass you or make you have to tell all your friends that I am normal.
20. Allow me to clean that up please.
Please add anything else that I may have overlooked. By commenting, you are signing this petition to the higher powers that exist.
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