Being a working mom with two kids, 2 and under is really hard.
Being a working mom with two kids, 2 and under and a blog to maintain... well, that's easy.
Because the blog suffers. And no one gets hurt.
And that's why I am not on here as often as I would like to be.
I revisited my goals for this blog and I take comfort in the fact that I am being heard. By a precious few... but heard never the less.
I am in a comfortable place right now... so comfortable that I am getting a tad bit rusty. So I need to wake up and come here to dust once in a while. I will do that.
I look around me at mommies and women around me and I remain humbly inspired. They do so much and are so talented and very selfless. They always want to do more.
Take a break. That's what I want to tell them. Take a break... let me catch up.
There are some weekends where I can't wait for it to be Monday, so that I can pack my two and drive them to the daycare and come home to savor the quiet. Or go to work and not think about that night's dinner or grocery list or piling laundry until it is looming large above my head.
There are some days when all I want to do is watch my kids play and make a mess. Learn all their little songs with them and dance like a ballerina wearing spider-man tattoos.
There are days when I slog in the kitchen to make something... anything that my kids won't spit out or paint the walls with. Then there are days when I simply quick-dial my dinner.
There has been days when I actually fished in the laundry pile for a pair of something for me to wear or for one of the kids to wear because.... c'mon how dirty... really dirty can clothes get, huh?
There are days when my need-to-be-handwashed dishes just sit there dirty and sprouting mold or whatever little stuff on them.
There are times when I have no clue what the true color of our area rug really was... underneath all those toys, trash and dust.
There are days when I rush off to work or rush back from work. Then there are those awful days when I bring work home or carry my home to work. There are days I am late to work or late from work. Then there are days when either my mind never came home with me or left with me to work. Sigh!
It's ok if BK and my kids eat couple of quick meals or dines out - either they appreciate my cooking or it's a lucky break for them.
It's ok if I mask left overs and re-present them differently 3 days in a row, that's mommy being her creative self and experimenting on you.
It's ok if my laundry is undone and we are running out of clothes to wear, it just means new and more clothes for all of us.
It's ok if my house looks like a war is going on, it just shows how much fun we had making this mess.
It's ok if my pantry is empty and we are running out of toilet paper... wait, that's never ok.
So I am embracing this imbalance. I am embracing a dirty house but loving home. I am embracing our local Chinese food but loving teaching the kids how to use chop sticks. I am embracing shopping in yesterday's laundry and wearing new ones out of the store. I am embracing my half there-half here imperfect, smelly self... ugh, let me go wash my hair.
And that is indeed why I am slacking on indigoandviolet. I love that part of who I am but I am letting it gather some dust.
Cheers to all the people who do too much!