The ride has been… well, extremely bumpy. The guy upstairs has SUCH a great sense of humor. He lets me run wild, amok as a shooting-off-the-mouth tomboy more than half my life and then when I get pregnant, he gives me every oh-so-typical symptom in the book – throwing up (thank God, I practiced hard during my beer ping pong days), fainting spells, acne, whines, tears at diaper ads…. Oh, what a wonderful ride!
I thought the reprieve would come in some form perhaps - the sympathetic and ready-to-help reaction from family and friends but there’s that sense of humor again! Some of the reactions were:
- Finally! You were getting so OLD. 30, aren't you? Hope the baby will be OK and not weird! (Thanks! I hope ‘hormones’ is a good homicide defense)
- Oh! Were you planning? (No, I tripped and fell ofcourse!)
- WOW… how are you going to manage? (Well, lucky me, I am pregnant with an excellent dish washer, lawn mover and laundry folder!)
- Congrats! Surprise was it? Never imagined! (Yes…yes… total mistake this one! We are gonna call it Oops!)
- So you did it! (Gosh, how else?!)
- Nice but were you guys trying? (Yeah, real hard and drunk!)
- So are you gonna quit work? (yes, life stops for me now… I am going quit my job, cut my cable, electricity and move to the forest and become Amish)
- I hope you gave up drinking (Nope, why stop now? Got me here, it better see me through!)
- What? OMG… Really? For real? Why didn't you tell me? 3 months? And NOW you tell us? (Sorry that I didn't invite you to the pee-on-the-stick event)
Then there are those who immediately reach out and touch/rub/tap/pat your tummy… I mean, really? My uterus is much lower than that - that bump you are lovingly rubbing was my after lunch snack! Also why don’t you rub my boobs too? They are mighty sore! I especially love it when absolute strangers reach out and rub my tummy - on subways, at work, in line at Starbucks (where I am trying to hide and buy regular coffee than decaf!), in the ladies room and even when I am stuffing my face.
Sigh! How much more of all this would I tolerate, I don’t know but I knew I was gonna love being here when I saw the little thing’s heartbeat… and then saw it wriggling around and kicking out and moving about… I must admit, it’s something else! Never mind, the bloating, the nausea, the gas (oh the gas!), the expanding waistline & boobs & butt… never mind the lack of energy, appetite or sex … I think I will be very very happy, come this November (2010)!
I am excited & scared but c'mon… a little whiny thing… how hard can it be? <gulp>.
To the moms everywhere- WOW to you. To the ones planning a baby: Let's be stupid and incredible together.
And to my single & no-kids friends: You bloody lucky B******!