There is a blogger that I follow - Dani Ryan on her blog Cloudy, with a Chance of Wine, who puts a huge goofy grin on my face each day. 

Dani is super funny and such a warm soul. What I like best about her apart from her OMG-pee-your-panties kind of funnies, is that she responds to all the comments that her readers leave her. And we love her for it. 

Recently she posted 10 Things I enjoy when my Husband is away on Business. She is one softie and misses her husband when he is away. 

I commented with 10 things of my own. I am not a softie. Enough said. 
Sorry that I didn't type it all up or copy it over. I am just made that way. 

And Dani did say she would be honored. Go on and get your wine over at Cloudy, with a chance of Wine. Cheers Dani!

Name something that you would do when the cat is away, won't you? 

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Yes, I am this woman!
I am that kind of woman...
*slightly shame faced, slightly defiant, mostly sheepish* 

  • who dresses her kids in the clothes they will go to Daycare the next day. They don't wear PJs except on the weekend. 
  • who bribes her kids (and yes, I have bribed some playdates too behind their mother's backs) with candy. Sorry about your kids but it is your fault. You let them get out of control that someone had to do something and in my house, candy works. 
  • who will come back and correct errors on her blog posts long long after they have been published because I can't live knowing I made a mistake. 
  • who relies on the 3rd parent in our home. DJ Lance and his friends or Fresh Beat Band. 'O, you have to eat your veggies or DJ Lance will be sad; O, you need to stop jumping on the couch or Foofa will never come on TV; O you need to drink your milk or else Moono will drink it all'. 
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Foofa!
  • who will not pick the right size of clothes because that would mean moving to the larger size. NOOO! I rather remain in pinching clothes and denial. 
  • who eats all the kids' leftovers and sometimes before they say that they are all done. 
  • who will eat just a dainty salad for lunch and then eat couple of bars of chocolates or chip bags to make up.
  • who will not feign a headache any night because if someone wants to make a sweaty, hairy, vomit or poop stained, sticky haired, bitten finger nailed, nag feel like a woman, Hell I am not going to say NO. 
  • who while walking down a long hallway with a person walking towards her will always develop an itchy nose, wedged panty and a tic by the time she gets to the other end of the hall. But seriously, what do you do when a stranger is walking right at you down a hallway? Where do you look? Straight ahead, at your phone, finger nails? So Awkward. 
  • who finds every shortcut in parenting. EVERY. 
  • who, since motherhood believes in every God possible. 
  • who doesn't do her feet in the winters and just throws a pair of socks on. 
  • who will wear sweatpants whole day and grocery shop in them, go to the bank in them and sometimes sleep in them - so that I don't have to change the next morning when I take the kids to Daycare. 
  • who will smudge her nail paint a few minutes after it's painted on. 
  • who doesn't use any apps or all the features on her phone. Worse, she has both an Android and iPhone. Totally wasted on her. 
  • who cuts costs and budgets well only to blow it all up on nail paint, children's clothes or shoes. 
  • who re-gifts the stuff I get. (*shame face and pout*)
  • who does most of her reading on the toilet throne
  • who cannot throw or give away any of the small children's clothes or shoes because they are adorable and hasn't been worn enough. 
  • who makes endless, meaningless lists. 
  • who will cry at the plight of any and every child.
  • who will imagine the worse - THE WORSE when a phone call goes unanswered, husband is a few minutes late, unschedule call from home or the daycare or while lying sleepless at night. 
  • who will log off Facebook and then check Facebook on her phone. 
  • who loves children except those whose parents haven't bothered to wipe green snot off their noses. 
  • who will post a picture where she looks good even if everyone else looks terrible or wasn't ready for the picture. 
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Atleast here... I cropped everyone else! Haha!
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Look at her sleep... as if she did a whole day of slaving and cleaning!
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Don't look like someone is going to run away with your bottle!
Nobody really tells you this stuff but this also happens after that wonderful bundle of joy arrives. 

1. All those endless advices that you will get? Yeah, totally useless. The one that I hated the most - sleep when the baby sleeps. I pooped and shaved my arms when the baby slept. 

2. The joys of breastfeeding. What they don't tell you is that - the joy comes after atleast two weeks of excruciating pain. You suffer unimaginable pain learning the art of nursing. I wanted to tear my boobs off and bury it in some yard during the first 2 weeks. 

3. Postpartum depression is real. Give in to the tears and talk as much as you can. My doctor asked me if I felt like hurting myself or the baby. When I said 'No', she said, 'Good, you have no depression'. I cried in the shower everyday for two weeks for NO REASON and couldn't sleep at all during that time. I scared myself. It passed. But that turned out to be the longest two weeks of my life. 

4. You are still pregnant. 2 weeks after lil O came, I was riding up the elevator. A family with a baby got on. The lady smiled at me sweetly and asked how far along was I. I said, my baby is 2 weeks old and at home. She said, 'Really? so is mine'. Needless to say she did not look like me. That b!tch. 

5. I never glowed during my pregnancies. And after my pregnancies, I think I just shriveled and got all gnarled. My hair began falling out, my face wasn't my face, gosh-the-acne and oh-my-God the stretch marks! This too shall pass. 

6. That new baby sleeps a whole lot. A WHOLE lot. Find something to do. At first I attempted to do chores and clean. Then I realized that I need pick-me-ups, so I started reading or doing my nails or talking to friends and if nothing else I did catch some sleep too. It made me feel better. 

7. All those amazing and expensive baby products? Not so convenient and easy as it looked, right? I spent atleast half an hour trying to figure out how the bottle warmer worked. I tossed it right after. 

8. Everyone from your mailman to the cashier at 7/11 knows everything about taking care of a baby and they are all telling you that you are not a good parent. 

9. Someone told BK this and I can't tell you how true this is - 'Everyone will take care of the baby; You take care of your wife, right now she is the one who needs it the most.' Oh boy, did I need that care. Thank you sir!

10. Eating well, staying relatively cheerful helps your nursing. Stressing, worrying, skipping meals and skipping nursing are sure shot ways of remaining unable to nurse. 

11. There will be atleast 2 people who will not like your baby's name. You will be asked atleast twice if it was already final final final. And there will be plenty of people who will mispronounce it even if it is as simple as 'Bo' or 'Emma'. 

12. You know how they tell you not to overshop for clothes? Yeah, you should atleast have 2 weeks worth of baby clothes and two days worth of  baby bottles. This is to avoid having to do laundry and wash bottles everyday. 

13, Someone will discuss your weight. You need to ignore them but you will not be able to. On another note, one glass of red wine is harmless even for nursing mothers. 

14. Have some good friends on stand by. Shamelessly invite them, leave your baby and your boobs (or bottles work well too) with them and disappear for a little. Your baby will be fine. Your friend - not so much. 

15. There will be times when your baby cries non-stop for no reason. No milk, pacifier, swinging, swaying, singing, music, talking or wailing will work. After the initial panic, I would remove every stitch of clothing on my child and then re-dress her. Sometimes that won't work either. This too shall pass. 

16. There will be moments that you hate various people in your life for no reason, starting with your husband. 

17. There will be atleast one moment where you think, 'Hmmmm motherhood, well it's not all what it is made out to be'. This too shall pass. 

18. You may or may not be constipated, bloated, gassy. This too may or may not pass. 

19. None of your clothes will fit. Your maternity wear is not endearing any more and your old clothes still do not fit. Just buy more clothes yourself. It is great therapy to shop. 

20. Baby clothes are adorable. But trying to put them on, argh! The more adorable they are, the harder it will be to push a wiggly head, arm or bum through their tiny necks and armholes. 

21. Do not go to Babies R Us and do not send the husband alone to Babies R Us either. They have every imaginable or unimaginable products designed to make motherhood and parenthood easier. And they are mostly wrong. 
  • Bottle Warmers come with almost the same instructions as your microwave for heating baby bottles
  • Wipes Warmer - her bum is dirty not cold
  • Bottle Sterilizer - you wash and load your bottles, wait till it's done and promptly remove bottles before water condenses, make sure water level is right, make sure it is atleast half full... wait, this sounds like you are babysitting a sterilizer! 
  • Crib Bedding and bumper - what? SIDS associations say nothing goes in the crib except the baby? Bummer!
  • Diaper Genie - to me a true genie would change the baby's dirty diaper. If it doesn't do that but just pretends to secure a dirty diaper until you take the trash out - that's not a genie. 

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I have been chatting up a storm in the last week. 

The use of those friendly smileys are overwhelming. 
When you have nothing to say - insert!
When you said something that is actually true but you don't want to hurt - insert!
When it is not funny but you have to laugh - insert!
When you haven't understood what was said - insert!
When it is so funny that you can't stop laughing - insert wrong, then insert right!
When it is getting boring - insert!
When you do not want to answer a question - insert!

Such useful little guys! 

But imagine us using those faces in real life. The world would be creepy and funny too. 

Imagine us working these faces into daily conversations!

Share this with your friends and get them to add more to the Real Life Emoticons

Find us on Facebook and post your Emoticons onto indigoandviolet 


 
 
I don’t have a little boy child to bring up but if I did, I can only imagine this is what I will have to say. I also want you to know that all children are children first and all people are human first – so 51 Life Tips for my Daughters applies to all children, you can ignore the ones that talk about makeup though, unless you like makeup. 
1. You are searching for something on Google and it bought you here. Great - you are doing well already. You sought for help when you needed it and that’s the first thing to learn in life.

2. Don’t worry too much about leaving the toilet seat down. There is too much noise about this. We women can put it down before we go. And if you did, thank you.

3. When you are at a door and have opened it, it is heartwarming to see you let the person behind you out first and then walk through it yourself. This is good only for doors. Opportunities are a different thing.

4. Be polite, you never know who is watching you and why.

5. Your mother threw all caution away and fell in love with your father. She is always cautious with the doors to her heart. You were the next man, when you stomped through and stole her heart. Do not break it.

6. I will let you in on a secret. Most women bring in a little drama with them. Indulge us and we will leave you alone.

7. Don’t break a girl’s heart cruelly. Do it honestly, gently but firmly. Only cowards are brutal.

8. Never ever, ever ruin a girl’s reputation. The karma around that is too much burden for you to bear.

9. Revenge is overrated. Have you seen someone overtake you with a snide look only to slip and fall? I have and it’s such pure ecstasy and I couldn’t have done it better.

10. If you see women only as a pair of assets, they will see you as an open wallet or worse as a service bull. And just so that you know, we compare all services.
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Image: www.scyouthsoccer.org
11. It is not that hard to understand relationships. You do get sports, right? It’s the same thing. You win when you play hard. When you win, you have the need to take your shirt off and act primate. When you lose, you sulk for a little but the season is not over. Either ways you drink. You anticipate the other team’s moves; you act proactively or react appropriately. If you bring any unnecessary roughness, bullying or crap to the field, you are out. You always play fair. It’s that simple. And women know it, they love their sports too. 

12. We can open our own jars, change our tires and reach for top shelves. We are letting you do it to show you that we appreciate your strength, your effort and we love that you are there for us to depend on. 

13. Pull your pants up kid. It is not cool any which way you look at it. 

14. Piercings and tattoos are neat only for a while. When your skin is saggy and wrinkly or stretched out over your beer belly, everything will read ‘I am stupid’. Unless it reads your children’s names. 

15. Learn a sport that you play while sitting; learn a sport that you play running; learn a sport that you play with your mind; learn a sport that you play with your strength of body and will. You need all these to get you through life. 

16. It rocks if you can make music. Kids love a guy with a guitar or harmonica. 

17. We all love Cows, those gentle, all giving animals. You know the one thing we do not like about them? Their incessant chewing cud. If we don’t like it on them, you bet we don’t like it on you. 

18. You know that saying – Why fart and waste when you can burp and taste? Yeah, don’t do either. 

19. Farts do not light up but yes, do try it.

20. Make sure you own a shiny pair of shoes. It matters. 

21. It takes very little to be a man; actually it just takes that one thing. Don’t be that thing. And don’t scratch that thing in public. 

22. It takes very little to be a gentleman. Please be one. You will make your mom proud. 
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See? Nice pants with pockets and still saving the world!
23. Be Superman except with your underwear under your pants always. Save the world, stand up for the meek and hold the job you love.

24. Learn to make a few meals, do your own laundry and vacuum. You will need it someday to impress a girl or to be there for your wife while she is having your baby. 

25. By the time you are 16, you will think you know a lot about women. Nope, not even close. You will see that each girl that you know is going to change into a lady and a woman when her wings unfurl after graduation. 

26. Lock the door to your room. American Pie is funny when the kid is not yours. 

27. Take NO for an answer. 

28. I know a lot of people say it often. It is all right to cry. Only if you feel like it, you don’t have to, no matter which woman says it. 

29. Be able to hold your drink. Start practicing when you turn 21 and keep at it till you are 23. But give it up after that and just enjoy your drinks.

30. Don’t be influenced by anyone or anything – your friends, your mother, your wine or your ego. Make your own mind and heart up. 

31. Enjoy an art, a little history, reading and something nerdy. It makes you cooler as you get older. 

32. Anything a girl can do, you can do too and maybe even better. Except give birth, not because you can’t bear that much pain just that you would look weird in those maternity clothes. 

33. Take a boy’s night out every once in a while. Even if your mom or woman gives you hell for it. It is worth it. 

34. Take care of your appearance a little. You have all that body hair and facial hair working against you, to start with. 

35. Please be funny. A funny guy can get away being geeky, nerdy, skinny or hairy. Be very funny if you are all of these. 

36. Pray and no, you are not the gift to every woman’s dream. 

37. Exercise. It's liberating.  

38. Never ever hit a person who is weaker than you. And never ever hit a woman, even if she is stronger than you. 

39. Be trustworthy and know that gossiping men are very nasty. 

40. Please pick up the check when you are out with a lady. 

41. Leave my daughters alone. Have you met their father?
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I became a mother two years ago. My whole world changed and I grew up some and grew old some. I always feel the overpowering need to protect my lil girls from the world and every tiny ant that crawls in it. I wonder and think about them all the time. And I know that I too have been this little protected child to my hope-filled parents a while back.  

A few things woke me up to this fact in the recent days that I am the Grown-Up now. Whenever I have had conversations with my sisters, it usually was about frivolous nothings and everythings. But now it is becoming more about our parents. We discuss their health, if they are eating right, if they are working too hard and everything else in between. 

When did this role reverse? 

My dad and mom did everything for me when I was a child. Infact they continued to do most of everything for me up until I started working. They watched out for me. Sometimes my dad would call me at college in India from the Middle East to tell me that the weather was turning bad and that I should cover up or that the water is drying up and that I should watch what I drink. Sometimes I got so homesick that my mom would stomp her feet and fly me home just so that she can cook me three decent meals a day. 

Now when I look at them closely, I see the years taking it's due in fine wrinkles, gray hair and a gentle stoop to their backs. Where is that dad who would run a mile holding onto my cycle, go? Where is that mom who would sit up night after night learning my lessons ahead of me, disappear? 

'Hey, er, will you get french fries here at this mall'? 
I remember asking this very same question while twisting on my dad's firm grip of my hand. But this time it is them asking of me. 

'Can we do Subway tonight?' 
Oh, the number of times I have asked for KFC or McDonald dinners but this night we are being asked. 

'Can you read what's on this label'? 
Today, my mom or dad turns to me. My parents read to me as far back as I can remember. Even today when I can't read something in my native language, I still ask my dad or mom this very same thing 'Can you read this for me'?

When did I take their place? 
When my mom helped me with lil O and lil A, my seasoned mother knew her way around a newborn and a new mother. She shepherded me through my first steps, my first missteps, my tears and my celebration as a mother. Little did I know that she was passing something on to me each time. Something that used to be hers. 

When my dad spoke to me about our household assets, I joked about my larger share as their assumed favorite child. Little did I know that boots were being hung up and work gloves were being put away. 

As I was finding my feet in the world and impatiently marking my footprints, my parents were slowing down and thanking God for watching me thus far. When I was being prodded to find the right life partner, they were fervently hoping to find that someone too, to leave their previous child with. When I made mistakes and their frustration showed, it was not disappointment but fear. Fear that noone will be there to catch me when I fall as they did. 

When my mom turns to me to ask me for advice, I thought she was testing me. Little did I know that now she is turning to me to introduce her to my world, to a world that is no longer the one she owned. 

When my dad asks me, 'How can I buy some internet'? or 'Is the World Wide Web the same thing as Internet'?, I laughed until my sides ached. He laughed too but I am sure he was secretly hoping that I tell him soon. He was trying to find a way to stay connected to me and mine. 

When my parents stand between me yelling at lil O and tell me to back off, I look to them in amazement. Did they not spank me for the same thing? Did they not yell at me or ground me for this? And as I look at them, I truly see them. I see how they look through eyes brimming with love at my children and see a little me and wishing that they could do it all over again. I see them realize that their days are perhaps numbered and they rather not see tears. Just as they dreaded to see mine. 
I see not just my parents but BK's too. Their slower steps, their mellower opinions, their softer voices and their instant agreement to our ways of life. And I wonder is the mantle being passed on? 

Are we in charge now? 

Do I have to shoo away the bogeyman and monsters in the closet by myself? 

Do I need to figure out the life's lemons and chocolates myself? 

Do I tread waters myself with noone holding my hand? 

I look around me and see that from the forefront, our parents have taken a back seat. Does that mean I am driving now and they are asking me, 'Are we there yet'?

Just before my mother left to India, she kept reminding me of something that she wanted. She kept reminding me several times that day. Finally I snapped and said, 'I know. I will get it. Don't ask me again, mom.' 

She wasn't hurt. She smiled and said, 'I know you will, I am just telling you each time I think of it.' 

But a lump formed in my throat. Because I remember when I was growing up, I would pester my dad for something and would pester my mom to remind or convince my dad for it. I would do this relentlessly. For days. And every single time, it would appear, one fine day when I least expect it. And my dad would always watch to see my expression of delight and squeals of joy. Not once would he snap. 

When did our roles reverse? I don't know how they did this for so long. 
Has the circle of life come all the way round?

I cannot bear this mantle that they seek to transfer to my care. 

I am not ready Daddy. I just am not. There are so many things I still need from you. So many things I still do not know how to do Mom. So many jars that I still cannot open. So many buttons that I still cannot sew. So many ways of the world that I do not understand. So many dishes to make. So many things still undone. So much still unsaid. 

When I see age and time drawing upto them and marking fine lines or digging its claws into their health, I want to curl into fetal position and cling to them to rock me into denying sleep. 

I am not ready to be the Grown-Up of my world. 
 
 
First things first - Happy Happy happy 7th month birthday to my lil A. She is such a warrior. She was a little under the weather and yet never cried or fussed. Her achievements include doing some onshore swimming and doing it pretty fast; she eats pretty well; she is a talker and I believe she said 'Dada'. She can almost sit up by herself and can do an awesome push up! You go girl! 
I am linking up with Ramblings of a Suburban Mom to gather up my scattered thoughts. 

Thursday Thoughts

I am thinking about how my family came together and pulled though this past week. BK, his sister and BIL came together, put aside work, normal routine, sleep and comfort to work around each of their schedules for a small family medical emergency starting last weekend. I had no doubt that all of us would do just that but to see it in action was extremely heartwarming. I just love Sibling Love and it's nice. Looking ahead I know we are all going to be fine... in life. Above all, I love my little ladies for being so resilient with absentee parent, late nights, early mornings and leftovers. Little kids teach us so much. 

Friends! After about 13 years and some intermittent efforts at staying in touch, a handful from the ISK batch of 1999 has come together virtually and stays in touch everyday now. What would we do without you Geet, whose brainchild this has been? Thank you WhatsApp for being easy and free (for the rest, not for me though). 

I usually write at my own pace and do not want to be pressurized into blogging for the sake of just that. So when my post 51 Life Tips for my Daughters gathered some steam and I got some loving, I realized that I really love blogging and even more I love making lists. 

A friend of mine Rima started her blog recently - Rima's Reflections and I am so pleased. So pleased that I am smiling like this.
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Image Google images
That reminds me of B.Meowsic which I had promised to get lil O. But she has way too many toys. 
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B.Meowsic from B.Toys
I think this is so so so cool and want to try this out. 

How To Make Fairies In A Jar 
1. Cut a glow stick and shake the contents into a jar. 
2. Add diamond glitter 
3. Seal the top 
4. Shake hard
I met Jenny Lawson, The Bloggess  couple days ago and I am still gushing! 

I have totally fallen off the wagon 
  • with my postpartum weightloss plan - I was doing so well. Sigh!
  • with watching all my sit-coms and now I have no clue what's happening on TV. I will miss The Office the most. 
  • with taking pictures of lil A. She is such a trooper. 
  • with teaching Lil O new things. 

Lastly, I thank all of you - my readers for the outpouring of comments and appreciation. Thank you! 
 
 
Despite being mad busy this week and going through some hard times, BK made it possible for me to go and meet my current favorite blogger queen and celebrity - The Bloggess. She is on a book tour promoting her book Let's Pretend This Never Happened

Jenny Lawson is incredibly awesome and OMG funny. 

She is Jenny from Beyonce The Giant Metal Chicken

This title here? Well Knock Knock Mo-Fo, you need to just figure it out, shouldn't you?
And for more knocking, click here
Now Jenny Lawson is not all fun and funnies. She started the Traveling Red Dress Project, which is a beautiful project to unleash the real you and face your fears. The traveling red dress is real and powerful. I can't do justice to it by explaining it better so I am going to let you find your own red dress. 

She is inspirational because amidst all this she is also battling depression and she fights to go on which she does ever so beautifully. Read her More Than Meets The Eye posts. 

If she is in your neck of the woods, go out and buy her paperback and meet the down-to-earth Jenny Lawson, The Bloggess. 

Click on all the links in this post and meet Jenny Lawson yourself. Better yet, get her book - Let's Pretend This Never Happened. 

(No, I am not getting paid to do this. I know! I totally should!)
 
 
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There was a time when I wasn't lost to my parents. I was this goody-two-feet who did her homework, studied hard and generally told the truth always. And then that girl met this one - Geet. 

Geet was a good girl too but with more flair. But together - OMG. 

I can't begin to describe the craziness that was unleashed in my head and through it all both of us grew up. 

Before I summarize everything that we were, I want to say on record that I learned Hindi mostly because of her... and I don't want to tell you about the first lessons - that's all censored but every other lesson were bindaas!


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and 10 pages in between!
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Always posing..
After a year of being in the same class with Geet, here is my PTA meeting conversation with our head teacher:

Mrs G: 'Mr George, 10th A is an infamous class today'.
Dad: 'Ahhh very good.'
Me: 'Dad, infamous is opposite of famous'.
Dad: 'Oh'
Mrs G: 'And your daughter is one of the most notorious girls causing this.'
Dad: 'What are you a criminal'? to me. 
Mrs G: 'The company she keeps is terrible influence on her.' She rolls her eyes to Geet who is sitting shame faced with her mom and another teacher who is saying the same things. 

Later while leaving,  Dad says to me, 'You are to be katti with that girl forever. Ok?'
Me: 'No'.
Dad: 'What? What did you say? Then why don't you go home with her. You can't listen to your parents then go... hey, where are you going? Come back here. So if I tell you to go to her home, you will just go? Get in the car stupid.'! 

(more or less what happened)

One night, I was almost asleep and reasonably so because it was 2:30AM! My phone rings and I ran to pick it up. (Geet, Yasu and several of us talk that late into school nights because most of us were blacklisted to our parents).

Me: 'Hello'
Geet's Dad: 'Were you talking to Guddi, right now'?
Me *without missing a beat*: 'Yes'.
Geet's Dad: 'You have no other work? Can't you go to sleep? Is this the time to talk?'
Me: 'Ehhhh....'
Geet's Dad: 'Goodnight'
Me: 'Goodnight'.

(P.S: Geet, stop teaching your dad the internets!)

That's how thick we were. We had each other's backs, we covered each other's a$$es and were simply awesome. She is a genuine and true soul who brings fun to every party and turns every shingding into a party!

Sigh! Good Old days. School memories would never have been this sweet without a dose of Geet. And thanks babe for that great dose of F.R.I.E.N.D.S of ISK. Those b!atches over there are bat-sh!t NUTS.

Deadly Scorpions baby!