2. Learn a few things early. Once inbred, you will never forget it and it will help you figure out which direction your life should take at the right crossroads. Few things include one musical instrument, one form of martial art or self defense, an European language, to make one complete meal, to sing and math.
3. Give good directions and take directions. This will help you find all your destinations, in life and on the road, always.
4. Take care of your teeth. I know you don't like to brush now but toothache cannot be drowned with a bottle of wine like heartache.
5. Enjoy a glass of wino once in a while. Note that I said 'Enjoy' and not 'Drink' a glass of wine. There is a huge difference.
6. I know you will try vices and make mistakes. Choose carefully only those that do not scar you for life and or ruin your reputation.
7. Take enough care of your body not so much that you don't enjoy anything in life and not too little that you can't enjoy anything in life.
8. Preferably do not do anything with your hair until you are 21. Prom-night, first dates, bridal showers, wedding, Vegas, junk food and childbirth will take a huge toll and you do not want to already come in with bad hair.
9. No matter how queer or weird your relatives act, you need them. They will be the first ones to lend you money, have your back and perhaps leave something to you in their will.
11. Be kind to everyone. It does go around and yes, it's true - Karma can be a b!tch.
12. Practice a good smile. Let much of the time that you ever spend in front of a mirror include finding your best smile. You will need it for good pictures and someone else will need it, just to get by for another day.
13. I am on the fence about make up. A little make up never hurt anyone. It picks up your day, covers bad hair days and gives you some color. But some days just use soap and water. Those days will be fresh and carefree.
14. Be ready for an adventure, always. This means that on most days you should be wearing sensible shoes, underwear and should definitely be wearing a deodorant.
15. A lady never smells. Never. PERIOD.
16. Bathe daily. Even if it is cold. Even if it is cold and you never left the house or your bed in two days. Even if you have a fever. Bathe. It washes away more than dirt.
18. Save for a rainy day. With global warming and sh!t, rain is more frequent now.
19. Do not contribute to global warming. The world I am leaving in your hands is already damaged and repleted of its best. Save the world.
20. There are good people and there are bad people in this world. And you are not the one to decide this. Do not judge anyone.
21. NO. Learn to say it. Like you do today as a child. And when you learn it, learn to mean it as well.
22. YES! Learn to say it. Then say it to new experiences, new learning, new clothes, new shoes, new colors, new friends and to those who need it the most.
23. You know very well what a good man looks like. You know him. You love him. Your dad. Do not bring home someone that doesn't match up, atleast some parts. You know we already do not believe anyone is good enough for you.
24. Be a good neighbor. You need them to borrow a cup of sugar or milk or to run to your rescue in the middle of the night and to call 911 for you.
25. Curse once in a while. It is liberating. Curse only when it is funny. If you really feel it, then that is the exact moment when you should never curse.
27. Chipped nail paint is worse than no nail paint. And no nail paint is not all that bad.
28. Own a great expensive pair of stilettos. Ok, own a few. Know when to wear it and how to wear it. If you find yourself walking like a pigeon in them, toss them.
29. Be funny. Develop it or learn some jokes. Just be funny. And Laugh. It helps through so many rough patches.
30. Learn to defend yourself. Not just verbally, physically. You can do it, you just need to figure out how.
31. Dance. When in doubt, always dance it out.
32. Enjoy some cheese and chocolate with that wine. Do not let the cheese and chocolate go to your waist and do not let the wine go to your head. Both you will regret.
33. Say 'Sorry'. Even if you really are not and even if you did not need to be. Sometimes that alone fixes things.
34. Be thankful. Kiddo, you have no clue how lucky you are. Seriously.
35. Pray. Let not prayer be the last option but the very first and you will see that suddenly your options have indeed multiplied.
36. Leave Soap Operas to themselves. Be your own drama. You will have the best laughs, most soulful thoughts, deepest emotions and thrilling adventures in them.
37. Take care of your grandparents. You bought out the child in each one of them with your smile and giggles. They now hold on to life because of it.
38. Clean your own sh!t. You do not need someone to wash your dirty laundry or clean your toilets. Get help with everything else except that.
39. Celebrate beauty when you see it. It's worth it. And more because you recognized it.
40. Spend the first few paychecks that you get. Just go to town and blow it up. Get it out of your system. Then plan, budget, save, invest and spend. In that order.
41. No matter what. No matter where. No matter who. I am your back up. I am your plan B. I am IT. You will call me when in trouble. You will call me for bail. You will call me if gangsters are after you. You will call me when drunk and you need a ride (not your friends - ME!). You will call me when you are sinking. And here's the best part. I will get you out no matter what and I WILL NOT ask you any questions. We will put it all behind us and move on. No obligations either. I just want you safe, alive and happy. I will forgive everything else.
42. Forgive people. And definitely go to sleep angry. When angry, shut up, walk away and go to sleep. If you are still angry after a good night's sleep, let's deal with things.
44. Learn to groom yourself. So when someone invites themselves over, you have 10 minutes to do your over-grown eyebrows, get rid of your mustache, get a quick pedicure, clean off your chipped nail paint and throw on some perfume. That way they will forgive you for the mess your house is in.
45. Get your own house at the earliest. The world is getting all bought up and I don't know where they are going to build more homes.
47. Please assemble your own furniture, fix the hole in the wall and change the light bulb yourself. It is not rocket science. Unless you are indeed a rocket scientist, in that case, call me I will send Dada to fix everything for you.
48. Please remember this: two people made some sacrifices, a lot of tears and sweat and dedicated their whole lives to you. Four elderly people have knelt down in prayer not for their various ailments but for you. You are important. You are not weird. You are loved beyond words. You are precious. You are kind. You are smart. You are beautiful. You are who you are and that is who all these people love. No one can take that away. No one can bully you. NO ONE.
49. There is never ever a good reason to photograph yourself naked or in any state of undress. NEVER. Not for yourself. Not for anyone else. And definitely not to put on Facebook, Tweet to anyone or mail out. Again - NEVER.
50. Defend those who cannot stand up for themselves. If you see injustice, it is your duty to help. That is how I have negotiated it with God, that in my absence may you have a guardian angel wherever you are and in exchange I offer my children to be someone else's. So you must help.
51. Lastly, Listen to your mother. She rocks.
Update: I did a small post on 41 Little messages for little boys.
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