- Yes, I may have said that you can go and have fun with the boys or colleagues or whatever but that doesn't mean that when you return, I am not going to say, 'While you were out having a ball, I was cleaning poop and chasing these kids!'.
- Yes, if you have been out of the house for any time more than 2 hours then when you return you are on diaper duty and food service.
- I am doing you a huge favor if I have to put my phone down, get off the couch to get you anything, switch on anything or scratch your back. This means you are putting the kids to bed that night.
- Yes, it has been me throwing out all your razors or hair stubs covered anythings off the bathroom counter. Don't you understand why it is that I disappear whenever you start looking for your sh!t!
- There are only two reasons why I fold and do your laundry - 1) I can't just do mine and leave all of yours there and 2) It's leverage to use against you for that weekend. Remember how I say, 'I did allllllllllllllllllllllllll of this laundry, so please make dinner, bathe the kids and put them to bed while I try to rest with my achy back'?
- You know how over the last 5 years, you have build up quite a stock of single socks? Yeah, that's on me. Every time you leave your socks right in the middle of the stairs, walk-in or hallway, I toss it.
- Stop buying colors of shirts and tees that I don't like. Some of them are so bright that noone notices me next to you. And you remember how you were looking for them? Well, guess who makes a Red Cross donation once a month?
- Yes, there is a reason why your million shoes are stored in the garage and my precious few are inside the foyer - 1) you have millions of them and 2) mine are precious. So yes, it has been me who tosses your shoes into the garage.
- I am the-shut-down-and-lock-up person in this house. I don't care if you roll your eyes and tell me that you locked up because guess what I find when I get downstairs? Atleast one light lit and one door unlatched.
- Yes, no matter how much we "discuss" this loudly, you spending anything on anything is taboo. IT IS NOT the same when I do it. Where have you ever heard of men being called 'high maintenance'?
- Even though I do not show it, if you leave your mail box open on our laptop, I do look at it. I haven't clicked open anything or scrolled through it....yet. It is not beneath me.
- I am sure you have gotten some hints but if someone gives you a compliment, they better give me one too. I don't know how this is your problem but it is.
- Sorry that I am not overly enthused when you decide to cook. You mess up my kitchen and use every single pot and pan in my kitchen. I keep my kitchen spotless and ...well, basically unused. I like it that way. I hate that the price for that yummy dinner that night is for me to clean up.
- Yes, I leave all the dirty jobs for you and act like I would have done it when you have started it.
- I disappear when you start cleaning up or vacuuming because you make me move things and lift things and put things away. Dude, cleaning up and vacuuming involves these tasks. I can easily hold a vacuum and move it around the room...it's these tasks that make vacuuming a least favorite job. *rolling eyes*
- No matter how many times you count and keep tabs, I am not going to take out the garbage, it's a man's job - there, I said it. And no, you can't toss my question back at me - 'Since when is it a woman's job?'
- Yes, if we have gone to bed angry, I mindfully toss, turn, sigh loudly and pull at the comforters to waken you. Why should you be sleeping when I am fuming?
Hun, I just thought I would come clean, it being our 5th year coming up and all. I totally love you.
Cmon 'fess up ladies and men too. I am sure many of you have some juicy confessions to make.
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