Being a mom is hard. 

Being a working mom with two kids, 2 and under is really hard. 

Being a working mom with two kids, 2 and under and a blog to maintain... well, that's easy. 

Because the blog suffers. And no one gets hurt. 

And that's why I am not on here as often as I would like to be. 

I revisited my goals for this blog and I take comfort in the fact that I am being heard. By a precious few... but heard never the less. 

I am in a comfortable place right now... so comfortable that I am getting a tad bit rusty. So I need to wake up and come here to dust once in a while. I will do that. 

I look around me at mommies and women around me and I remain humbly inspired. They do so much and are so talented and very selfless. They always want to do more. 

Take a break. That's what I want to tell them. Take a break... let me catch up. 

There are some weekends where I can't wait for it to be Monday, so that I can pack my two and drive them to the daycare and come home to savor the quiet. Or go to work and not think about that night's dinner or grocery list or piling laundry until it is looming large above my head. 

There are some days when all I want to do is watch my kids play and make a mess. Learn all their little songs with them and dance like a ballerina wearing spider-man tattoos. 

There are days when I slog in the kitchen to make something... anything that my kids won't spit out or paint the walls with. Then there are days when I simply quick-dial my dinner. 

There has been days when I actually fished in the laundry pile for a pair of something for me to wear or for one of the kids to wear because.... c'mon how dirty... really dirty can clothes get, huh? 

There are days when my need-to-be-handwashed dishes just sit there dirty and sprouting mold or whatever little stuff on them. 

There are times when I have no clue what the true color of our area rug really was... underneath all those toys, trash and dust. 

There are days when I rush off to work or rush back from work. Then there are those awful days when I bring work home or carry my home to work. There are days I am late to work or late from work. Then there are days when either my mind never came home with me or left with me to work. Sigh!
So I strike a balance. I let somethings go. 

It's ok if BK and my kids eat couple of quick meals or dines out - either they appreciate my cooking or it's a lucky break for them. 

It's ok if I mask left overs and re-present them differently 3 days in a row, that's mommy being her creative self and experimenting on you. 

It's ok if my laundry is undone and we are running out of clothes to wear, it just means new and more clothes for all of us. 

It's ok if my house looks like a war is going on, it just shows how much fun we had making this mess. 

It's ok if my pantry is empty and we are running out of toilet paper... wait, that's never ok. 
What I am saying is, women across the world always do a lot, and they don't even have to be moms or wives. I feel they are always doing too much or trying to get everything done, every day. I am saying - it's ok. Our kids love us or hate us anyways, no matter what we serve them, no matter how we dress them, no matter how we smell. Our men, they are awesome too. They are not standing aside with that measuring yardstick trying to count our falls or chores undone. They rather see us happy and calm than frowning and exhausted. 

So I am embracing this imbalance. I am embracing a dirty house but loving home. I am embracing our local Chinese food but loving teaching the kids how to use chop sticks. I am embracing shopping in yesterday's laundry and wearing new ones out of the store. I am embracing my half there-half here imperfect, smelly self... ugh, let me go wash my hair. 

And that is indeed why I am slacking on indigoandviolet. I love that part of who I am but I am letting it gather some dust. 

Cheers to all the people who do too much! 
Please find indigoandviolet on Facebook (or just click here) and LIKE for updates!
 


Comments

sakina
08/05/2013 3:39pm

Babes...ur state reminds me of my sis..hats off to working mums

Reply
08/05/2013 4:52pm

Hats off to our moms too!

Reply
Lo
08/05/2013 5:33pm

jens.. so bloody well expressed!! i totally hear you!! inspite of still being just the 2 of us at home, i can already to relate to most of what you mentioned.. *gulp*

Reply
Jen K
08/06/2013 10:01am

Like I said... women everywhere do so much... take it upon themselves to save the world! :) Kudos to every one of them!

Reply
Shanthi
08/06/2013 1:14pm

Totally agree...especially with this "There are days when I rush off to work or rush back from work. Then there are those awful days when I bring work home or carry my home to work. There are days I am late to work or late from work. Then there are days when either my mind never came home with me or left with me to work. " That's exactly how conflicted I feel too

Reply
Jen K
08/06/2013 1:43pm

Something I realized is that.. this rushing to work/from work, bring work home and getting personal at work and being late to or from work is the nature of work. It is not something that defines us, women or mothers or wives... it's work that is designed that way. We are constantly taught that work is work and it's not personal. I respectfully look at another view, work is an extension and reflection of who we are. We can't really separate ourselves from it and we shouldn't be required to. So it's ok for a dedicated good performer to make some allowances at work and at home. There - the perfect imbalance with no conflict. We just have to make our peace with it.

Reply
Nids
10/10/2013 2:10am

Hi Jency darling, I somehow seem to have missed this post but boy! I am glad that caught up!!...This is so bloody perfect and that is exactly how the life is rt. now.....n yes I realize need to let go a tad bit more to keep all of us sane that is......

Reply
10/12/2013 9:25am

It's not the will to win, but the will to prepare to win that makes the difference.

Reply

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply